


Goodbye

by monaboyd_archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-04
Updated: 2004-03-04
Packaged: 2018-04-11 13:50:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4437884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monaboyd_archivist/pseuds/monaboyd_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy gets married.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Shirasade: this story was originally archived at the Monaboyd.net Archive, which was closed in September 2014 due to software issues and a lack of new submissions for several years . To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2014. I e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on the Monaboyd.net Archive collection profile.

Billy adjusted his hair in the mirror for the zillionth time. No, no, no, you can’t do this to me! Billy straightened his tux, smoothing invisible wrinkles. Please, please, tell me you’re not going to do this! Billy fiddled with his bowtie. Stop, you’re killing me and agonizingly oblivious.

“How do I look?”

I fought to keep my face blank. “Great.”

“Here, take this. I’m going to drop it or something.”

He took that ring out and put it in my hand, and I flinched. Violently. And willed myself not to rush into the bathroom and flush it down the toilet.

“Come on Dom, it’s not going to kill you.” He smiled reassuringly and put on a Gandalf voice. “It’s quite cool.”

The joke would have been funny if it weren’t so painful.

He was twitching. No, trembling. Shaking.

And all I could do was pull him into my arms for a comforting hug. He clung to me, and his shaking seemed to stop, and mine seemed to start. We’d done this so many times, and I’d memorized the feel of the side of his head against my neck, but still couldn’t get enough. Oh, Billy, what the hell will I do without you?

But the embrace was over all too soon, and he was peeking around the corner again. “Guess it’s time to go out.”

For a split second I pondered the ironic meaning of ‘best man.’ I was his best man and always had been and that’s all I ever wanted to be and now it’s the least thing I want to be. And he messed with his tie one last time, and made towards the door.

I grabbed his arm, like a drowning person would grab at the spar that was already drifting away. Drowning, that’s what I was. Now drowning in the green depths of his eyes and knowing they’re not mine to drown in. I didn’t have the words to say what I’d spent years trying not to say.

But his eyes understood. They always understand. When I’m the most closed, the most unreadable, they read me anyway. And it showed in his face, and I mentally kicked myself hard for doing this to him.

But I didn’t have the bloody decency to turn away. He didn’t have the indecency to turn away. I could see in his eyes the understanding, and as much as I didn’t know it would happen, it broke my heart all over again.

He leaned in, slowly, and I didn’t know what he was doing, but I felt his soft damp lips on mine like I had dreamed of every night for years. But it only lasted a few seconds, and he pulled away and opened his eyes.

“Thank you Dominic, for everything. Being here for me, and being my friend. I’ll miss you. And... I’m sorry.”

Sorry? However unclear his words were, I read it in his eyes. That was all I would get. And he was saying goodbye.

He gave my hand one last squeeze and I followed him numbly into the huge room that was packed with people in their Sunday best. He was looking scared again, so I gave him a look that I hope said “you can do it!” and not “I love you!” Whichever he got, he understood, because Billy always understands.

Women in pink dresses started sailing down the isle. Then in all her glory, She came down wearing a huge white dress that was so shiny I almost had to look away. Or maybe that was just me. Billy looked ecstatic and a part of me couldn’t blame him.

They said their vows and I somehow managed to give them their ring without dropping it or hurling it into Her face. They kissed and a disgustingly cute “awwwww” rippled through the enormous crowd. For the last and final time, my heart shattered into a thousand shards.

The End.


End file.
